and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
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