i would punch a child for taco bell
Buhtt sex?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
