I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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