i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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