You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
