Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
