Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize