So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
