paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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