You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Just high enough for therapy.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
