I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
