there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
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