yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
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