Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
