your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize