...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You left your underwear on the fireplace
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
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