My balls are so social today.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
