I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
