you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
