dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
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