so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We don't watch enough power rangers
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
