I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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