problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
