two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
