I'm sorry my penis didn't work
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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