Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
he told me I talked like a deaf person
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
