Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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