you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Randomize