Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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