so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
