so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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