i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
