so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
