My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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