Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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