I'm going to jail i love you
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
