I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
