Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
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yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
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I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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