K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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