Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
