I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
Randomize