You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
