i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
