Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
