that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Randomize