I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
