.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
