i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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