Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize