He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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