just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Your cock deserves a montage
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
