i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
