My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
