she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
