I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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