fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
