If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
