I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
