how can u be prego again
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
