i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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