I think I just saw someone hide a body.
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
